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Well…who isn’t? Trauma-drama is the biggest addiction of our times!

Trauma-drama addiction takes place daily in our lives and it takes many shapes and forms, some of which are gossiping, complaining about people and situations, getting involved in fights (emotional-physical), holding grudges, betraying, being betrayed or setting up any relationships like that so as to play either the victim or the perpetrator. And when that’s not enough dramatic, you only need to open your tv or your social media to come across the global trauma-drama chaos…wars, disasters, global warming, murders, abuse, rapes and the list goes on and oooon.
What we are not aware of though is how addicted we are to trauma-drama. Once we get exposed to it in early childhood, then it only takes little time for us to get conditioned to not only withstand it, but to actually seek out for it. Our nervous system learns to get off with trauma-drama and with the pain, suffering and chaos that come along with it. And without even noticing, we start incorporating it in our lives, others in smaller and others in bigger degrees, depending on the levels of trauma we have experienced as kids.

There is a constant battle taking place inside us. On the one hand we fight for inner balance, wellness and wellbeing and on the other hand when balance is succeeded, we feel bored or that there’s something missing and we search for any reason that can give us a good trauma-drama show to get our system high and excited again. Silence, quietness and peace are very uncomfortable conditions for many people.

And it’s funny that we all ask for global peace and we wish for a change in the world while at the same time we feel unable to end the battle that takes place inside us. Gandhi said “Be the change you want see in the world” and this quote has become such an inspiration all over the social media…but all this just in theory. What happens when it comes to practice?

How we respond to trauma-drama is very related to our sense of integrity and to what do we choose to stand for. If you were the only person to break free from this addiction, would you still do it? Would you dare to “be the change you want to see in the world”? Would you be ok if no one else would choose it but you?

Becoming aware or even admitting to our addiction to trauma-drama is not easy. Rehabilitating ourselves from this addiction is a journey with many steps:

1) It requires that we activate our inner observer to guard our thoughts, our urge and our hunger for creating or attracting trauma-drama. Our mind will give us all the good and legitimate reasons to keep us stuck in the cycle, especially if one of our favourite roles is to play the victim, the “nice” person or the one who is always “right”. You’ve got to make friends with the dark side of the force; that part of yourself that is a trouble maker, a warrior, an instigator, a bitch, a gossiper and the one who loves intrigue and chaos. You got to see these pieces in you, acknowledge them, give them some voice and then take responsibility for them.

2) It requires that we become aware of how intensely our nervous system is programmed to seek out for trauma-drama, because it makes us feel alive. Notice the urge and the addiction rushing through your body and its need to feed off this type of energy. It’s actually the very same as being addicted to some kind of substance. It gives you the same highs and lows.

3) It requires that we become aware of how we set people up (family members, partners, kids, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and whole communities) to participate and play a role in the drama we are directing, without realising that we use these people and we keep them stuck in this cycle that doesn’t allow for true connection and closeness.

4) It also requires that we become conscious of all this huge amount of our energy we invest on trauma-drama instead of pursuing our dreams. We often complain that we feel drained and exhausted because of toxic relationships and environments around us, while we are the ones choosing to be involved with them at the first place. Being addicted to trauma-drama is a big sign that we are not CREATING enough in our life. Imagine what would happen if we would choose to channel all this energy into what really matters to us and into what do we really want to create. Can you imagine how much better this world would be if people instead of focusing on trauma-drama would choose to let go of it and turn all their precious energy in creating whatever their heart desires?

I do hope you find this month’s post useful and insightful. If you want to share your thoughts on how you are creating trauma-drama in your own life or in what ways you are attached to it, then please send me your email in the This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I’ll be happy to respond asap.

Warmly,

Nina