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Wednesday, 06 May 2020 12:23

Have you experienced toxic parenting?

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Hello everyone!

Through my work I very often come in contact with people who have experienced some kind of toxic or unhealthy parenting. Some of these people are aware of the negative effects this kind of parenting had in their lives, so they come to therapy in order to learn new ways and break free from all the limiting patterns they learned in the past.
Some other people, however, struggle every day in their lives, because they are unaware of the burden, they carry due to the toxic parenting they received as kids. What they do feel inside them, is an obstacle that prevents them from living in their fullest potential and that keeps them stuck in a cycle of emotional pain and suffering. This unresolved trauma is difficult to be explained or described. It is subtle and numbing but at the same time very confusing and consuming for those who experience it.

Toxic parenting is not only associated with physical and verbal abuse, but it is also related to a number of parental behaviors that cause trauma in a subtler level. Some of these behaviors are the following:

• When a parent is competing with their kid.

• When a parent is very self-centered and makes everything about themselves.

• When a parent is addicted to drama-trauma (fighting, arguing, gossiping, etc.).

• When a parent has unrealistic expectations from their kid and they live their unrealized dreams through their kid’s life.

• When a parent focuses mainly on one of their kids and ignores the needs of the other(s).

• When a parent is super critical, controlling and judgmental of their kid.

• When a parent is codependent and feels as if they are “one” with the kid (enmeshment).

• When a parent encourages manipulative/aggressive behavior of the kid.

• When a parent desires to be parented and guided by their kid.

• When a parent is cold, distant and emotionally unavailable and dismissive.

• When a parent consistently violates their kid’s boundaries.

• When a parent overprovides (materials and experiences) to their kid in order to compensate for what they didn’t have in their own childhood.

Have you experienced any of the above when you were growing up? If this is the case and if you feel that any of these parental behaviors has left you with some kind of unresolved blockages, then keep in mind that it is never too late start your healing journey and treat any unhealthy bonding you have with your parents. With therapy, you can develop new behavioral patterns and eliminate old restricting paradigms that undermine your ability to make new choices that will help you lead an easier, happier and more authentic life.

Also, keep in mind that the purpose of this blog post is purely informative and that it is not indented to encourage or promote a victim mentality, where you still blame your parents for your current life choices. Your parents acted the way they did based on their own unresolved trauma. This is how they were raised up. They didn’t know better. So, instead of losing your time pointing the finger, now it’s your time to CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY and to consciously commit to YOUR OWN INNER HEALING.

I do hope you find this post helpful. Know that I’m always here to assist you in your healing process, so if you need any help do not hesitate to contact me in the This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or text your message in the “Quick Advice Service” that you will find in the homepage of the www.holisticawareness.org.

Take lots of care!

Warmly,

Nina
Read 1656 times Last modified on Monday, 07 December 2020 21:38

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